


Everything makes sense but it doesn't mean I have to like it

by Blablabea



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But we still love them, Canon Compliant, Crazy Lucifer (Supernatural), Nothing that important, S5 lucifer meets s13 lucifer, Spoilers for Season 13, They meet and they talk. That's it, This is me complaining about things, Time Travel, Universe travel(?), just a bit, kindof, they are both a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 07:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blablabea/pseuds/Blablabea
Summary: The spell worked. Lucifer manages to escape the apocalypse world, but he doesn't land back home. Not exactly. He meets a familiar face, and the conversation that follows shines light on some past (future?) events.





	Everything makes sense but it doesn't mean I have to like it

**Author's Note:**

> I say some things in this about the show, the fandom and the writers. Don't read if you are easily offended. Or do. Your choice.
> 
> (English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar mistakes)

Lucifer was standing in what was once an apartment in Detroit. Now, the place was more of an empty room than living space, the floor and walls streaked with blood, the little furniture that was still standing covered in ashes and dust.  
Demons surrounded him, not really for protection. Those idiots would be way over their heads if they thought he needed their protection.  
Ha! Right. It was only for appearance.  
  
Lucifer rolled his shoulders and looked out the window.  
Everything was just for appearance. He didn't need the demons. In fact, every moment he had to spend with them breathing their horrid smell was. Unpleasant.  
Entertaining, sure, they were terrified of him, and rightfully so. They tried to keep up the facade of strong independent monsters, but really, it was like a small fish trying to look brave in front of a shark. Lucifer liked sharks, noble creatures, old and powerful. not tamed by anything or anyone. Of course the humans would hunt them to near extinction. Just another way for them to destroy the perfect thing that was earth.  
  
He backtracked in his head before his temper could get the best of him. He didn't need to accidentally freeze the room and kill his so called bodyguards. Again.  
Ah yes, they were staring at him. They were not used to angels, and the way they sometimes wandered around with their thoughts. Maybe a bit too much, and surely other angels had no problem to focus on the physical moment, but he was.. different, to put it kindly. He had a lot of time in his existence to make a habit of expanding his thoughts to the farthest corners of the universe.

Memories and plans for the future. How conversations should've gone, could have gone. If only. Thinking like that would get him nowhere, but he couldn't help it. Maybe he was mad.  
Being locked in a box is boring. Silent and cold and alone and.. no not thinking about that. Present time, present place. _Focus_.  
He took a breath and stared out of the window.  
  
He was free now, he could feel beyond the walls of the room and beyond the building from the tiny insects to the top of the mountains to the bottom of the sea. There were so many things he wanted to see, so many places to visit. He really wanted to go feel the wind and lay in the sun until his chest felt warm and his vessel's eyes hurt, and fly to where the earth was the wildest to scream with it yes I am free, I am alive, _I am free_.  
But for now, for now he was in this room, waiting for his true vessel to show up. He knows he will. He's sure of it. From the first moment he knew.  
He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at the anger and fear that he will soon feel rolling out from Sam. But he would understand. Soon he will understand him and everything will be alright. Still, he couldn't blame him for those feelings.  
He was a human after all, and Lucifer was...well. Everything Sam was taught to hate and kill at first sight.  
The same went for Dean. He reminded him so much of Michael it hurt to even look at him. Or at least, how he wanted Michael to be. Standing by his brother no matter what, no matter their belief and the stupid orders from a stupid father who couldn't even- No okay, present, think of the present. Dammit, he was bad at this focusing thing.  
  
Lucifer sighed, turning towards the demons again, planning on asking for informations on the whereabouts of the Winchesters, or maybe stare at them until they were as uncomfortable as they could get. He hadn't decided yet.  
Suddenly he felt. Something. Something powerful, something wrong, really wrong, and familiar.  
A tear in the fabric of the universe appeared, and with a flash of light, the demons surrounding him were blasted away, and a body fell through the crack onto the floor.

  
  
'Oh. Ouch. That was bad' He laid on the floor of whatever place that was for a moment, trying to make sense of what happened.  
So the spell worked. Great. And he managed to get into the portal and away from that crazy hell world. Even better. But, he could feel the emptiness the loss of his grace left behind. Less great. Kindof horrible, valid reason to panic really, but later. He managed to get his legs under him and stand up with only a moment of dizziness, looking around the room. Now, the priority was. Finding out where the hell..  
... _oh_..Yeah that was. Definitely something.  
Lucifer stood up, mouth slightly open, staring at...himself?  
He blinked a couple of times, quickly looking around the room to see if there were other weird hallucinations. Because it was definitely a hallucination. Right?  
He went for feeling the whole place with his grace only to find that he couldn't feel anything beyond himself. Talk about only taking a bit. Other Michael was a dick. He kept staring at himself or, well, a younger version of himself, if the scarring on his face and arms was anything to go by, this was back when Nick said yes the first time. Maybe he ended up in another universe, maybe he could still-  
  
"Who are you"  
"...uhhh" okay yeah great start. Very intelligent.  
"Who. Are you." Lucifer could feel the other's frozen grace pressing in the room, the temperature dropping, threat of imminent destruction clear.  
"Okay okay how about we don't do the whole...smiting each other business. I don't think that's convenient for anyone" his hands flew up, taking a half step back.  
The cold unimpressed look he received was expected. But he was still breathing so it was something (weird. Angels don't need to breathe. The sensation was making him itch)  
  
"Okay..ehm. This is weird, to say the least.  
I am...you." No reaction from past him, he was probably thinking about all the possible outcomes and ways to take advantage of the situations. He really made a work out of thinking before talking. He almost didn't remember how it felt like to do that. To be able to control your mind enough to not blurt out the first thing that comes to mind at all times like an idiot.  
  
"I mean. I wasn't sure at first but I think I can recognize my own grace, thank you very much, so yeah I am definitely you. Specifically, you from..the future. Well, a future I guess" Unless he had to add memory loss to having diminished grace because he definitely didn't remember this happening. And wouldn't that be just perfect.  
  
"How" Wow, talk about being concise.  
  
"Ehhhh interdimensional hopping, tears in space time reality." He waved an arm around, "Not my fault. But it's not good"  
Again with the cold stare. At this rate the room will freeze. Forget that he was actually able to do that back when he was at full power. But details. Point is, trust was still something they didn't have for each other, even if they were literally the same person.  
  
"So...Where am I?"  
"You're me from the future, don't you recognize this place?"  
  
Lucifer looked around. "Ah, yes, this is  
Detroit. I remember.. this is when I was waiting for Sam to say yes." He said mostly to himself. He looked up again. "Is Sam here? Well not here here, but in this universe?"  
"..yes."  
"Okay. Okay that's good." He may be on the wrong universe still, because he definitely didn't remember this happening, but he was getting close. And getting close meant getting away from that crazy berserk version of Michael. And that was indeed very good.  
"Hmm. What happened to you?"  
"What do you mean"  
Lucifer waved a scarred hand in the air, indicating the whole of himself in front of...him.  
"You are.. " he grimaced "weak"  
"Excuse me" who the hell did this guy think he was. ..Okay well that was a really stupid thought, but still.  
"You. Are weak. You have lost your grace, at least part of it. But you look almost"  
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, or so help me Dad"  
They stared at each other, and then stared some more, until Lucifer looked up with a sigh, exasperated. He didn't rember being so stubborn. "It's a sensitive, recent development and I'd rather not talk about it" he finished with a mocking smile.  
  
He had to be strong, or at least appear strong. He may have lost a big chunk of his charm, and his grace and his sanity but sure he could still... nope okay he was royally screwed. But he would not appear weak in front of anyone. Not ever again.  
  
The other him raised an eyebrow, arms crossed in front of him,  
Wait, he didn't say that out loud, right? No. He was kindof nuts but not that much. Then..  
Lucifer frowned "stop reading my mind. It's annoying."  
"And I imagine you can't read mine"  
"No. I can't. It's weird and uncomfortable. I can't see or hear or feel almost anything. Jesus, how do humans do this all the time" he scrubbed a hand down his face, sighing. Talk about appear strong. But he was tired. So tired.  
  
"That's not the only thing"  
"What are you talking about now"  
The other waved an arm in his direction. "You're not just tired-" "what did I just say about mind reading dude seriously?" "-There's something wrong with you. Different than how I am. I understand that a lot happened since you were in this moment?"  
Lucifer laughed without mirth, shaking his head "oh you have no idea"  
"Why don't you tell me? I could know the enemie's moves in advance and so I can win. Finally, apocalypse on earth." He said with a shrug and a thin smile.  
  
"Oh come on. You can't fake with me. I'm you, remember? You don't want the apocalypse, you just want to go back home. Not fight anymore and someone to tell you you were right.  
Well guess what. That won't happen. They already know you were right. They want to clean the earth from this infestation as much as you do, but that doesn't mean they will stop hunting you down until they either kill you or lock you up again! And for the record, I've seen the world after the big fight! And lemme tell you, it's bad"  
He took a step forward, pointing at his past self.  
"You. Are in a corner. Without Sam, Michael will win and you die. The world becomes a big waste land. Everything dies. And with our handsome prom dress, guess what! You still loose, but this time instead of dying you get locked up again and it all still goes to hell!"

He was basically screaming at the end. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair and he hated it.  
He turned around with a grunt, passing a hand through his hair.  
He was being a petulant child. So what. After everything he had a valid reason to, right? Right. The cage timeout 2.0, then Dad with his fake talk and fake apologies and then he left, again! Everyone against him, and then alone alone he didn't want to be alone ever again.  
No, no. Everything will be alright soon. He will get his grace back, and find his son, and they'll be okay. No reason to panic.  
He took a breath, calming down.  
  
"So that's what happens? The stupid cockroaches win?"  
"Yeah. You'll possess dear Sammy, but at the last moment he takes back control and swan dives into the cage. With you. And Michael. Fun, right?"  
  
"That's not possible"  
Lucifer scoffed "Yeah tell me about it"  
"No, that's literally not possible. It doesn't matter how strong a human is, they can't just 'take back control' from an angel. And surely not from us"  
A hum of agreement is the only response to that.  
  
"You...let him have control back?"  
  
He sighed. "Not really. It's complicated. I saw.. I saw their life. Their entire life. How Dean was always there for him, never left him, defied their father's orders and stood by his side till the very end. Hell, while I was breaking his face he kept reassuring Sam that it was okay, that he was there. It doesn't matter what he did he never would have abandoned him.  
It was too much. It was exactly what I wanted and never had. Will never have. And in that moment, nothing else seemed to matter."  
They both looked down and away. It didn't matter what year they were from, that always hurt.  
  
"Do they know you let him?"  
"Ha! Nope" Lucifer shrugged "they probably think the power of love and friendship did it. How stupid would that be, right? As if this was a cheesy tv show"  
  
"Still doesn't explain why you are like...that."  
"Like what?"  
Lucifer tilted his head,  
"You are not a mighty archangel anymore. You're more of an" he gestured at the whole of the other him in the room "an unhinged six year old. How does that even happen?"  
"Hah. Haha I am sure you can guess that nothing good comes out when you put two humans and two very angry angels in a box" He shuddered. Not thinking about that. Ever. Between all the reasons he had to panic right now, hell torture didn't have the priority The recent torture, and less recent, other torture didn't help either he supposed. No priority to any of that. Focus. Keep talking.  
"But in the end, no one knows what really happened in there. If anything at all. Who knows, maybe all this is just really, really bad character development" he looked at a wall. There was a thing here humans did. He saw in his many vessel's minds. What's the term. Looking into the camera? A famous show thing did that a lot. He remembers some episodes from his vessels but everything is more confused than ever.  
  
"Wow. So you really did loose your mind"  
Past Lucifer said. He looked toward him again, and. Yep. He was still judging him with that stare. How dare he. Even himself was apparently against him. But it was okay. He was evil after all, so so evil and he totally deserved to be the punching bag that every story needs. The sarcasm in his own train of thought was very evident, but he pointed it out to himself just in case.  
  
"No. Thanks for the concern, but I am fine"  
"Who's lying to himself now? Literally." The other replied with a raised eyebrow.  
He rolled his eyes. Again with the judging stare. Whatever.  
He looked out of the window, at the city below. Night was coming, he could feel the temperature dropping, and he noticed his hands were cold. His arms too. Actually, everything was cold and not that he wasn't used to it, but it sucked. All this -ugh- human feeling of prickling skin and hairs standing up was not plesant.  
Lucifer resisted the urge to shiver and rub his arms to try and warm up.  
Show no weakness. Not even to yourself. He was fine. Now he needed to find a way back in his timelike but that shouldnt be too hard, right?  
He just needed..many, many rare ingredients. And of course, grace of an archangel.  
"I need to go back to my universe"  
"Why?"  
He looked other him in the eyes "what do you mean why"  
"From what you've said, there's not much waiting for you there. Mostly a world that hates you and probably will end up killing you"  
"Let's maybe not call that one out? Thanks?"  
"So stay here! They don't stand a chance against both of us"  
Well that was a nice image. But no.  
  
"I have a son to go back to"  
"You? A son?"  
Lucifer nodded "I've never even seen him, the Winchesters sent me away before I could even meet him. But I won't leave him alone. I will never abandon him" that was one thing that his mind could still focus on. Find the kid. Find him and protect him. And when he is strong enough, together conquer earth. Everything will be alright. Except, what if..  
"Oh And I am sure the Winchester brothers did not teach him which side he should be on"  
That. Exactly. What if he finds him and he doesn't even want to look at him. He is just a shadow of his former glory after all, and the kid already spent enough time with the humans to take up on his mother's side. What if he hated him. What if they teach him what they teach all the humans?  
  
But that would be stupid wouldn't it? They know the bible and all the religion that comes out of it is based on false facts. So surely, giving false information to a kid to make him be by their side would be too low even for them, right?  
They would allow him to grow and make his own decisions without being pushed into believing what is good and evil, right?  
And, surely the two brothers who made so many mistakes in such short lives and broke the world dozens of times for mostly selfish reasons, wouldn't teach him that a fight thousands years old was something you judge a whole being on, Right?!  
Yeah that would be stupid. Definitely wouldn't do that.  
  
"I can only hope they didn't rope him in their whole 'family business' thing. That would be bad" he mumbled.  
"Kid deserves a family though"  
"Not them! If he chooses to not stay with me, there's nothing I can do to stop him, but Dad forbid they put their concept of family into his head! He's a kid! It's not good for him"  
  
"It's not as if our concept of family is much better, you know"  
"I know that! But they take it to another level! And then get surprised when they keep betraying each other." He smirked. As fucked up as he was, at least he wasn't a Winchester.  
  
It's almost as family shouldn't be used as an excuse to make people do what you want, and guilt trip them into believing they are a bad person if they don't unconditionally accept and forgive everything that someone does. Imagine that.  
  
Lucifer was desperate to show them he wasn't the Bad guy. Both of the Lucifers were. Only one still had a mostly sane mind to count on and a shimmer of hope that he desperately clung to, the other not so much any of those.  
  
The one from the rift was loosing patience, and fast. He had to go back to his time and place. He had work to do! Lucifer knew he could be a bit ah...difficult. But he was trying, he needed to show them (his son) that he could be a decent guy, better than his father ever was. He would never abandon them (him). Okay, maybe he would if they were being really really annoying, but not his son, never him. And to be totally honest? He needed the reminder too. That he could do something good, something right, then maybe he could find a purpose and not just roaming the world running from everything and everyone. All the while acting like an idiot just for shit and giggles.  
And yeah, he sure wasn't a role model for anyone, his whole life was a train wreck, but he was open and honest about that. Unlike some people. But he could do better. He needed a reason to try, and the chance to, without rifts in the universe, torture and blades to the throat for once.  
  
Now, he really needed to find a way to go back home. "Home" yeah.. he'll find a way. Probably end up being the butt of the joke again, and everyone will hate him because he's evil so evil, because it's true that people should look at someone's past and try to understand, but only when it's convenient for the heroes of the story.  
So no sympathy for him. Never for him. Maybe only from a small amount of people who will _also_ be treated like dirt, what a surprise. But who cares, he'll show them. There's nothing anyone can do to stop him. They'll see.  
They'll see.

  
The one with the scarred face sighed once again. He couldn't really make much sense of the jumbled thoughts inside the other's mind, but he guessed it couldn't be that important. The future would be different for him. He'll take his true vessel, show him the truth, and he will listen (he has to listen, he has to) and then he will meet with Michael and finally, see his brother again. He never forgot the feeling of his grace, his love, how could he forget? But he missed it terribly. His and Father's. He knows he can make his brother reason, he knows he can, and he can show them all that he is good, he belongs with them. And if they don't see it, he'll just have to make them. There's nothing anyone can to to stop him. They'll see.  
They'll see.

  
  
"So. Let's get to work"


End file.
